So I get the dart a lot.At least twice a day.(For those of you who don't know the dart is a train serving the Dublin area,often pronounced doirt)Anybody who gets it from the southside on a regular basis will nod in agreement with me when I say it is is filled with interesting characters.It's not the creepy old men that worry me or even the drunk ones on the way home,it's the people that seem normal that you have to watch out for.Every morning I encounter business women who pick their noses,college students who 'flick what they've picked' and one particular young man who bops his head aggressively to his 'rocker' beats.Needless to say,I'm not one to judge,we've all had those days,right?!
The Metro herald is a wonderful,free publication.A favourite of public transport commuters,an essential!It is riddled with spelling and grammar mistakes(again I'm not one to judge)and bursting with useless information about various topics around the world.Commuters read this paper from cover to cover on their way to work school or college,taking note of the letters page where misquoted students regularly feature along with other commuters lodging their complaints or appreciations about the Irish transport service.A gem some would say!
At the start of every Metro(herald) there is the date and a list of birthdays on said day.This comes in handy when you want to impress fellow college chums or that handsome young man sitting opposite you,it's a good conversation starter,who wouldn't respond to 'hey,did you know it's Lady Gaga's birthday today?!'Anyway,last January I was enjoying my daily Metro fix.I payed particular attention to the birthday's page,always good to know that your father and Dolly Parton share the same one!I was particularly sleepy on this day and quickly grew tired of the news of the celeb world and even the letters page was unexciting.I placed my metro on the floor beside my seat and diverted my attention to the wise lyrics of owl city.I pumped up the volume and closed my eyes.With every stop I would jolt forward and through squinted eyes I noticed the booth begin to fill up.Within 5 stops all of the seats were taken.I looked around the booth.A business man to my right,headphones in and asleep.Directly opposite me was a middle aged woman,very high-tec with her kindle (these dart people are too good for regular books!!).Diagonally across from me was a guy about my age,hood up,trademark white cables hanging down from his hoody and bent double reading the newspaper.The carriage was busy with school kids yapping and business people exchanging office gossip.People came and went from the train brushing against my shoulder as they walked.I payed little notice,this is a regular for me.After some time it occurred to me that I should perhaps keep the Metro from that day(I have a habit of giving people the Metro from their birthday,usually I give it to people who appreciate it much less than I do).I had placed it beside me,couldn't have gone far.
I reached down to my left.Remaining cool I scrambled around for it with my hand.It seemed that during the rush my beloved Metro had been dragged further down the carriage.No Problem!I thought surely it was within arms reach.
Anyone who knows me will know that I am not the most graceful at times.I do try very hard but sometimes my efforts fail.There I was sitting in my usual attire,dress,tights,jacket,headphones in.I reached backwards,I stretched my arm out,at this stage I was relying on my hand to do the finding but to no avail.It was time for my eyes to do some work.I turned my head around,there it was!I reached further back but began to wobble.I stretched my right leg out in front of me.I was getting closer.I lifted my leg slightly higher.Lets remember that short dresses with stretched legs leave little to the imagination but you don't think of this at such crucial times.I had a mission to complete.I continued to reach,lifting my leg higher.Suddenly I felt an unfamiliar surface on the top of my shoe followed by an 'oww!!!'The double over young man had met my shoe,or my shoe had met his nose whichever way you like to put it.In shock I returned to original position frantically pulling my dress over my knees."I'M SO SORRY!!"I blurted through my own music."It's fine",he replied abruptly.The kindle lady looked disappointed and gave me a sympathetic nod.In my mortified state I abandoned my mission.Surely he would get off in a few stops.
The train approached my stop,all the while thoughts clouded my mind.What if I had broken his nose?What is he sued me?These were all unrealistic thoughts but so was attempting to reach that metro from my seat.Previously I had thought it was unrealistic to think that my TY self-defence could be put into practise.
Mortified I arose from my seat at my station,nodding to the kindle lady.I didn't acknowledge my victim but awkwardly shuffled down the carriage and rummaged in my pocket looking for my ticket.I breathed a sign of relief as I walked through the barrier.Nobody had seen my mishap and I would never see the man again...until I met him walking the same route as me to college.
You see it's the normal looking people you have to be most cautious of.You must remain in an upright position.Hold onto your metro like it's a pair of size 5 shoes in penneys and don't let it hit that floor until you're certain it's of no use to you.I've seen that guy since and we never exchange smiles...totes awkie mo mo!
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