Where it all began...

Okay,it's hard to define when all my awkwardness began.I don't remember ever not being awkward or easily embarassed.It's a big part of who I am but it's only in the last few years that I've began to embrace it and realise it won't just dissapear.It's like rosey cheeks,you hope that as you grow older they will somehow dissapear from your skin and let you continue with your life instead of helping draw attention to you.People tell you they're cute but really there comes a stage when you are 'too cool' for them.My being awkward is just the same,no matter how hard I try I still manage to do the most awkward things and walk into the most awkward situations.

I'm not proud of it by any means,I'm happy to tell my friends about these things after I've recovered from the cringey feeling in the pit of my stomach but I havn't always been comfortable to talk about it.I love writing and it gives me more material to work with I guess.

So,the first awkward moment I can remember was when I was about 3.My Aunt had just purchased a pricey new pad in an expensive south Dublin area.No expense spared and the floor was covered with posh,expensive, cream carpet.All was well with life until the country cousin arrived.In my innocence,I took little notice of cream carpets...they have carpets in Wicklow,what's the big deal?!

My cousin,a few months older than me also took little notice.She had become accustomed to such an expensive lifestyle oblivious to the luxury and thousands of pounds spent(hard to believe they used pounds then!!!)

Before I go any further, it is important to remember that both sets of parents had left us to our own devices in a newly furbished house....this is an awkward moment in itself!So,what better to do on a summer's afternoon than open a bottle of Sonic the Hedgehog bubble bath near the top of the stairs?It seemed like a great Idea.My cousin carried it carefully to the top of the stairs,placed it down and we sat down.What intelligent children we were,playing at the top of the stairs.We carried on with our game,poor Sonic became more and more slippy but the carpet remained intact,not that it mattered,what's carpet remember?!

Before I knew it it was my turn with Sonic.I reached for him excitedly,he was still missing his hair and I could see his navy insides splashing around,nonetheless I continued to reach for him.I got hold of him!Yes!My enthusiasm was too much for poor Sonic and he 'jumped' out of my hands and spewed his insides all over the cream stairs...

I had been oblivious to the carpet before but the contrast  between navy and cream made something in my brain tick...something wasn't right!"OH MY GOD!!!'I cried!! My parents hadn't even heard the bang but their good Christian Morals left their ears on alert for oh my God's.Before I knew it they were standing at the bottom of the stairs looking up at me,waiting to correct their foul mouthed three year old only to discover that my language was the least of their problems.

So I destroyed a carpet and shamed my parents in the space of 20 minutes.My family are all on talking terms so nothing bad ever came of it.I grew up to be a Christian myself so there have been no more OMGs uttered from my mouth.Nothing a carpet cleaner can't fix,right?!